Crunch Town Reviews: Toombul Centro

Toombul

Image: Floods on the regular, Ritalin babies, and Maccas open 24 hours a day? These are the least of your worries in ye olde Toombul town.

By Dibley J. Hanify

So I visited Toombul Centro today to pay a couple of bills and grab a bite.

The place is a maze.

I was cornered first by a woman desperate to persuade me that my couch needs  reupholstering.

I don’t give a shit about my couch. Nor would anyone else. It’s ugly, red, comfortable, nice, and I paid nothing for it. Nor would anyone else.

For me, these are the hallmark qualities of any great couch: ugly, red, comfortable, nice and free. She wouldn’t let go of it for days.

Next, to Maccas to buy a Fillet-of-Fish burger.

I usually approach Maccas only in my darkest hours. I wasn’t desperate this time. Just time-poor, and the queues everywhere else were buck wild. I was dressed dumb dapper, I must confess. The 16-year old service attendant returned my change with one hand, caressing the underside of my hand with her other, ever so gently…

My message is this: for any aspiring PhD students in the realm of the social sciences, go check the place out. It’s a living, breathing, anthropological experiment. Your thesis title will slap you in the face within nanoseconds.

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