Good morning and a happy new years to you and yours.
2023 was a year of big reforms in the New South Wales police force, among which included updated protocols for the deployment of tasers.
The use of tasers is now strictly prohibited for use on women aged 95 years or above with advanced dementia supported by a four wheel walker while brandishing a bread knife. It was a divisive debate, and I, for one, was vehemently opposed to the alleged “reform”. But our NSW force is a broad church, and I have come to respect the need to ‘move with the times’ as it were. Bob Hatfield and Cookie provided wise counsel as per usual.
The crisis of poverty and housing affordability has made itself known in Wandin Valley and Burrigan in the year that was. On numerous occasions, I’ve witnessed folk camping out in tents on the edge of Lake Wandin and Burrigan Creek. Your Uncle Frank’s standard procedure is to issue them an order to ‘move on’ to greater western Sydney, a place equipped with aesthetics and sensibilities more in line with society’s waste. I came unstuck on a bitterly cold night in July when the patriarch of a family of four very cold looking young children said that him and his family had lived in the Valley for five generations and that he didn’t have petrol in the tank to make Penrith. Fishing was their survival. I referred him to the Burrigan Neighbourhood Centre, and the next day I get a call from an uptight social worker threatening to refer me to the CMC. Fuck me dead! The case is pending, so I cannot disclose too much. But suffice to say, I have grave concerns for the future of our nation.
On a final note, are you aware that the possession of Tilapia (Oreochromis niloticus) is highly illegal in the state of New South Wales? Originating from the Nile River, these bundles of protein and essential fatty acids are the staple of households across Africa and Asia. The same starving family I mentioned just before had two large fish in their Esky. The expected practice, should you catch one, is to dispose of it immediately, humanely of course, without releasing it back into the water. But nor can it enter your digestive system. I dug a hole and buried them alive. The fish, that is!
Policing is a work of art in some respects. We deserve your respect. I often feel that respect. There are occasions each week when, while apprehending some young scallywag, I hear them go to great lengths to sound out my role title, taking special care to sound out each syllable: “Thank you, Cunt….stable” they might say. Those young boys have my respect in return. All the best for 2023. Wait, 2024! Love, your Uncle Frank (Sgt. Frank Gilroy).
BAD ORIGAMI 